twntyfive

This journey is proving to be quite hard. Finishing this journey is a lot harder and a lot more work than starting it. I've been asking myself lately if I regret putting myself through this. In a sense, I really hate myself for it. I was in a perfectly safe relationship. Sure, I probably would've been settling, but if NW never came along, I probably would've stuck around and worked on the relationship. Settling isn't ideal but at this moment, settling doesn't seem half bad compared to being heartbroken.

I know I'm blessed with having a great support system. It's crazy that even my unicorn of a GBF makes an effort to talk to me and make sure I'm doing okay. In the end though, I know, it's me that's going to fix myself. I'M going to have decide to be okay. I'M going to have wake up every day and tell myself, "hey, you're going to make it through today." I'M going to go to work, go out with friends, and be okay with alone time. I'M going to get over him.

And this is where you tell yourself:
"I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm happy."
Every day.
Every day until one day you get through all 24 hours and realize that lie has finally become the truth.

 It sucks right now, oh yes it does, but it is going to pass and I'm going to be me again.