twntyfive

It's been a long time since I've posted. It's now 2015 and so much has changed since my last entry. For one, my almost 2 year relationship with D ended three months ago. After that break up, I put myself through quite a roller coaster ride. Granted, I chose this path myself so I don't have anyone to blame but myself. I knew from the start it'd be a risk but not once did I think it would affect me so much.

"When you think this is the end, please remember that the sun rises and the sun sets, caterpillars become cocoons, tadpoles grow into frogs, and seeds bloom into flowers."

They say turn every experience into a lesson. If anything, I've learned the meaning of timing. I never really understood it when people blamed failed relationships on "timing". Like what the heck does time have to do with anything?

I want to believe that if we began talking at the right time, at a time when he was ready for another serious relationship, we could envision together that forever everybody strives for. Perhaps I was naive to think for a second I could change his mindset. Perhaps I was a bit too infatuated, but now I realize that if he didn't want something serious, he won't want it no matter how much I hoped for a change.

I do feel a bit dumb for voluntarily staying (and believing) in that "not-relationship", but I can't deny how much I like him. I still don't know if I like him enough to see a forever, but I liked him enough to stay and wait for him.