Five.

Wow, one more month until the big six, the big half year. Compared to years, five months is nothing but every month is like a little step of accomplishment and celebration to me~

In the first few months, everything was easy breezy. No problems, no fights, no arguments. I guess that's why people call it the honeymoon phase right? We try to please the other person as much as possible and the mood is always happy happy. But as time goes by, problems arise and in order to fix things, sometimes tears are shed and sometimes we say things that aren't nice to hear.

I've come to conclusion that we are still in that "trial and error" phase. It's where we're still trying to figure out what we each like, don't like, what we each want and what we each need. I'm still trying to figure out what his favorite things are, what he likes to eat, what clothing style he prefers. Maybe it's a never ending learning experience and as time goes on, we continue to unfold new flaps about each other. Of course, me being the girl, hence being the more complicated one, he has to deal with more. Dealing with my insecurity, jealousy, complaints, frustrations... (wow, girlfriends are horrible..) Honestly I really am thankful for him. Often times I'm a bit scared to tell him how I feel because it's always a risk telling the truth. But every time (so far anyway), he's been very considerate to my feelings.

I know that in a relationship, whether it's a family relationship or just a friendship, there's always going to be disappointments and hurt. We can't always be perfect and be above expectation. I think I'm still learning that and I'm still learning to let go of certain things. I was never good at letting go and forgiving. Truth be told, I'm a very good grudge holder. I think it's my tendency to over-think that I can't just let it go without thinking it'll happen again.

In the next month, I would really like to improve on two things:
1. Letting go/forgiving thoroughly
2. Something I was thinking this morning was that maybe it's easier to accept something than to reject an idea so hard.

Sigh. Besides the happy times, relationships are hard. *wipes off sweat from forehead*

Happy five months my dear Daniel :)