twntyfive

Had such a good workout yesterday. I only ran the usual 3 miles~ but I think I worked myself out more because I was sweating balllz afterwards. After, Steph and I went to BJ's since I wanted a salad. Ended up getting a Peachberry Ice Tea and a Seared Ahi Salad. SO GOOD :3 Definitely leaning towards salads now when I go out. Not to mention that the calories look a lot better too d:

Actually I don't know how I feel about things. I care about him being upset at me, but it's only because I don't want to lose him as a friend and not because I still need his love or stamp of approval. We might end up as strangers (again), but I don't want to end on bad terms, like we hate each other or something. Or well, I don't hate him, so I don't want him to hate me either.

I wouldn't mind being good friends with him because I know he makes a good friend, but that's definitely going to be after I get over this relationship completely. I can't be like S and D. Like Jackie says, this space is definitely needed. This space is to be used to re-discover yourself, to heal the heart, without constantly having contact with him.

Deactivating Facebook is one the best things I've ever done. I was in my brother's room the other day, and I was so tempted to tell him to go to Herman's Facebook so I could see it. But I held myself. I knew it was only a moment of temptation and craving...plus I knew I would probably find something that would upset me, so I told myself "no", and walked downstairs to my room. Facebook has always been like a drug to me, but now without it, my life is so much better. I don't care about the petty things and I'm not always "stalking" other people. I don't have to deal with SC people, I don't have to give a crap about what they're, or he, is doing. Sometimes I do wonder what he is doing at the moment. Is he with her or her or her? But then I mentally slap myself and go on with life. Stacey added me on both Twitter and Instagram but I didn't add her back because I'm really done with AACF people. It's really nice to be able to filter people now. This is my life. I don't mean to be rude or unfriendly....but this is what's good for me. This is what I need.

I can't wait to meet someone that doesn't know Herman or has no connection to him. I do love the current people in my life, both SF and Millbrae, but to know someone who has absolutely no friendship with him would be quite nice. No sides to be taken, no awkwardness, no "do you and Herman still talk?".

I can't wait to start my classes for vet assistance! I can't wait to start learning about animals, I can't wait to start dealing with them professionally. Maybe I've finally found something I want to stick with for the future? I hope so.

This has been a very long entry. Sitting here at Starbucks having me-time is nice. Just reflecting and relaxing. No stress. I am supposed to talk to Herman after 12, after his midterm, but if he doesn't text me, I don't plan on contacting him. I care, but I've already said my apology. I've done my part.