twntyfive

Almost a week since I've updated and this time it's another expressing entry.

So let me be honest with you.
Tomorrow's the 1yr mark. It's been a year since the day I went to SC to have Herman surprise me with this..



I could possibly say that I remember everything about that night. From saying "I guess.." to eating dinner at the DC to watching OTH with you and Diana to going stargazing to waking up to see you next to me to you telling me that you wanted to kiss me the previous night but you didn't want to scare me.

Allow me to share some of the highlights with you.

November 09: The beginning.
December: When you came to pick me and Donald up from SJ and you surprised me with the pot of roses. I remember that I saw you from a distance, but I didn't even know it was you. I remember you were wearing the black and blue hoodie from H&M. I remember bog.
January: Celebrating our two months at the beach. I baked you cupcakes. We watched the sunset. There was a guy chopping up his Christmas tree at the beach. There was another guy who kept blocking our view of the sunset. Eating at Spices that night. Nummy!
February: Watching Friday the 13th with you on Valentines Day!
March: The first time the words "break up" ever occurred in our conversation. I swear I will never forget that weekend/week. I will never forget the emotions that ran through me while I was on the bus texting with you.
April: Going fishing with you, Jiang, Akino, &Brian for the first time!
May: Half year celebration at Broadway Prime! NUMMY.
June: You surprising me HECKA GOOD for our 7thmonth.
June 24th: Probably the worse night I've ever been through. I didn't even go to work the next day. I felt like my whole life just fell apart.
July 24th: One month breakaversary? Hah. We went to watch Harry Potter together. We went to eat at BJ's after. I remember you walking me back to my car and when we were about to separate, I so wanted to give you a hug. It just felt so natural.
August: I remember Riley telling me to talk to you because if I never told you how I felt, nothing was going to happen. I had nothing to lose. So I did. And the first time around, things stayed the same. You didn't want to get back together. The second time I didn't expect anything yet you told me you missed me. And with that, we're in for part two.

We broke up for about 1.5 months but once we were back together, it felt like nothing changed.

So from our one month anniversary to our half year anniversary to finally our one year, I was really quite excited. I was excited to celebrate it. I remember in July when it was Vicki &Allen's one year. I remember how Allen kept asking me for suggestions and how I was so excited for them. However, I knew that anniversaries weren't a big deal to you. From weeks ago, I already told myself not to expect anything. Two weeks ago, Oliver asked me if I was excited and told me

bballinkidoli (3:57:26 PM): DUDE...its one year
bballinkidoli (3:57:30 PM): im sure SOMETHINGS gonna be big

But I told him "No hopes, no disappointments".

Up to now, I'm still trying to convince myself of that. I'm still trying to listen to my own advice.

But at first, I received Donald's text -- "Dude, don't trip. He loves you. That's all that seriously matters. I told her last year it's just another day and she got mad lol. But hey, look at me now. Just remember you're with him at least. Congrats btw."

It took me a while before his words really sank in. After it did, I took some time to read my past blog entries from the break up era. I realized how my life was probably at a "low" point for a long time. I realized that Donald's right. Even though this 1yr mark is important to me, it's more important to me that you love me. And I rather have that any day over a one-day-celebration.