twntyfive

I can't sleep.

When are things going to get better?
There are those rare good days and then those ugly bad days.

Being around kids certainly help though. Seeing them so happy makes me happy. This part of their lives is probably the best; no problems, no responsibilities. They're so naive and content. Wish I could rewind back to that life...or fast forward to maybe a year later.

I'm watching Disney channel and I wonder why they put the baby shows at like 4 in the morning when most of the time the kids aren't even awake.

So my devotion passage I have to share this Wednesday for work is Luke 6:27-31.

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."

Amazing how God arranges life sometimes. But I have to say..whatever lesson God wanted to teach me through this heartbreak is a hard lesson to go through.

Last night was the third day in a row that you appeared in my dream. Ouch.

Maybe I will go to the bbq today. I don't know if I should because it might just make my life a little more fucked than it already is.

Sigh. This summer was suppose to be the best. Summer love, no?

"__________ hates everything: sunny days, the number 7, food, music, tv, movies, my bed, my house, this city, days off, comfy basketball shorts, and donutes-- everything that reminds me of him." - Facebook status.

If I had to do one of those..it'd be

Judith Leung hates everything: Piglet, my phone, my group of friends, Disney channel, basketball, Giants, my room, my bed, my pillow, my backpack, chicken nuggets, sweet tea, Prius' (I SEE THEM EVERYWHERE =.=), games, flowers, doing laundry, froyo (never getting it again), Forever21, Hollister, this blog, Facebook, AIM, webcamming, Millbrae, certain songs (most def Girl on TV), the 10th of all months -- everything that reminds me of him.

But the list would be much longer because I'd have to name every single thing that reminds me of these past 8 months.

So I need to stop flaking on Kevin =.= I'm waiting for Alvin to come back to be there for me as he said. Waiting to hang out with my favorite 07 senior, Matthew H. Kurose, that I haven't hung out with in almost exactly a year. I need to get on with life. Piglet needs to be put away because I love it too much.

I was thinking how it'd be so wonderful if technology was so advanced that it'd be possible to take out a chunk of memory from our minds. Riley's probably right though. After a few years, I'll just look back at this and laugh at myself.

Last thing. It's time for those pictures to be deleted on Facebook. I don't know if you've been waiting for me to do it first or not, but I'm going to be brave and do it. Call me stupid, but I'm going to keep my favorite one of us.

I miss you and I can't and won't deny it. I wish I could just rewind and fix all our problems and do it all again. I still love you and that, I hate to accept it.