You chose the day 30 days in advanced and for some reason, as unpromising as things were and your tendency to just disappear, I believed it. I believed that it was going to pull through. I hate to be a hopeless romantic nor that girl who writes about every guy she takes a fancy to, but for my love of jotting down memories, here it is.
That smirk of yours was oddly always my favorite. The way you would smile and laugh quietly like you were hiding a secret. You said my spirit animal was an owl because I was a mystery and that I was a predator - I don't back out from what I want. Funny you should say that because you were the biggest mystery of all. You said you were a fox - I don't exactly remember why now but I do remember you saying that you were too a predator - I guess I wasn't what you wanted. Umbrella, Clarity, Death Cab for Cutie. Roamin' Roman, "shut up and kiss me first". If anything, I miss the way you were when you played guitar and sang. I feel like when you were playing, that's when you were the realest you. You didn't hold back and the walls would be down for that slight second.
why don't you be you and I'll be me
You decided to walk away and disappear the moment we both realized that your walls were slowly coming down. I remember me joking that you were getting more rude the more we hung out and you said "that's what happens when you tear the walls down. we can build them back up if you want".
I guess I was just that silly girl who couldn't stay in your world. Happy 26th birthday, PJP.
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