twntyfive

mood: reminiscent

Today marks a week. It's been a few days since I dropped a tear(s), but there hasn't been a day so far that he hasn't crossed my mind. Sometimes I wish I could just gather all the memories hashtagged "NW", stuff them in a bottle, and throw it out to the ocean. I know I keep feeding my feelings for him with the memories of us and it sucks because it's impossible to forget it. I still haven't figured out if I'm glad I took a leap or not, haven't figured out whether the high was worth the pain. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so reckless with my heart, but hey, at least now I know. These past two nights were a little harder to get through. No tears were shed, but for some reason I just missed him a little more than usual. Maybe it's because we talked a bit and then bumping into him at Philz made me realize that I am no longer that person for him. I know I was never his most important, but at least I knew that he wanted to be with me as much as the other girl(s). It really sucks knowing he gave up on this. On me. That's what it is in the end; the rejection is the part that hurts - to know that walking away from him didn't make him want to be with me enough and that he didn't even try to make me stay.