1. Family.
Roar. It's been exactly a week since my mom's been mad at me. She's been giving me the silent treatment. Well, it's either that or sudden outbursts of anger. It's really quite miserable yet I don't know what to do. I've been praying. Praying for patience, guidance, and wisdom. I know it's my fault for not setting my priorities correctly but I don't know..I'm really just not the person she wants me to be or thinks I can be. Sigh. Maybe I really just am a failure. Just a disappointment.
2. The heart.
Complicated and still torn. That's what I can say about my heart right now. I guess I can honestly say that I'm better now. I don't pretend all the time with that smile, but on the darker days, my mind drifts. It drifts to how we use to be, how you were always there for me. It drifts to the better days, to the times when nothing ever seemed to go wrong. I know I should be letting go, and maybe I slowly am, but one side of me really doesn't want to. They say "you never know what you had until it's gone", but I didn't have to lose you to know what I had. I always knew what you were to me; you should know how much you meant to me. When we're in class, I hate how we're so close in distance, yet so so so far away at the same time. I hate not being able to turn to you expecting a kiss on the cheek. Sigh. I really miss you. If I could go back in time and change things, I would. But I really don't have that many hearts to be broken. Together for 8 months. Broken for 1. You still cross my mind everyday.
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